Friday, August 5, 2011

How is the beginning of my story?

Well im going to be honest here. Yes, you have potential. I would say in the beginning there is slightly to many adjectives. Adjectives are good! Just don't over use them. Also you didn't really grab my attention in the beginning. I had no interest in to keep reading. I felt like you were rushing into it way to fast too. Slow it down a little bit. You can handel dialogue but try to show the main characters thoughts too. What they are thinking in their head. Maybe even give a slight bit of details that will help the reader understand what really is going on.

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